X

Everyone talks about friends and parting with people and stuff these days. So, I thought I'll talk about some interesting phenomenon (probably more ppl like Y, but he is not even worth talking about..) named "X" that exists at my institute. This is a thing whose presence at IIT made no difference to others, atleast in my opinion

X an entity who used to live in godav did nothing in his hostel life but play chess and watch *shady stuff* in his comp. This entity used to park at my hostel for most of the time and study. Only a handful of people in his hostel knew about his existence ( note: this doesnt include his room neighbour). Even he doesnt care to know the people in his hostel probably because it doesnt help him in his grades anyway. I am not an exception in this regard; he knew me because I used to study with him during exams. I used to think, it was not just because of exams that he comes to my hostel and that he'll continue to come later on too. But I was wrong. In the seventh sem, we hardly had any courses in common, and his visits to our hostel reduced to single digits per semester. Having said that, I was surprised to see this guy pack his hostel and completely stay at home during the last semester. Last semester is the time when most of us are totally free and we always keep hanging out with friends, partying out, nightouts after nightouts of movies and stuff.. and this guy was just the opposite. He completely stayed in his house throughout the semester and when asked for a reason, he says "I am more comfortable in my house da, the grub is good.". Yeah, like we all love the food served at the hostels! X(. Infinite persuasions through chat, phone and talking in person hasnt changed him. I dont know what would have..


I was mostly never angry at him. Rather, I always felt bad for him. I think he missed a lot of college days life and he never really seemed to be bothered about it. Its probably good in oneway, he wouldnt miss it like me, later in life and feel about it. But isnt this the same nostalgic feeling that makes us feel good at times ....? I dont know if I'll ever be this "free" and "happy" in life again. I'll probably make some friends in my grad studies, but nothing like what it has been at IIT... I am chatting with him in the background. I no longer believe I can change him. Time doesnt run backwards, I wish it did. I wish I could change him right from the beginning .... I really do :'(

I wanna be happy

I was chatting with "ranjit aka cc" at around 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Recently we have started talking a lot about "How to be happy in life?". Thanks to the movie "American beauty" which I saw a week ago, our discussions have been quite lovely . It was such an awesome movie. After that, I went to gurunath and was alone, somthing thats not expected of a person like me. I always go to such places with atleast one more fellow and keep farting. But today it was totally different. I went with a feeling that I should seriously enjoy life this evening, come what may. So, the next immediate thing that came to my mind was "What is happiness? after all...". I couldnt answer it myself, for I am so bored in life these days. I decided to silently watch others, and figure out what actually brings happiness to their life. Thats how it all started.



I ordered some food, and decided to park in a place and silently watch. I found a set of guys who were dedicated to "Gurunath fartters" community. They were really having some nice time out there. I knew they were happy. I could see the smile on their faces, people laughing out loud. I see these things very often, for I am one among them. I wanted to see something that I miss most of the time. So, I decide not to join the party. I was sitting in a shady place, and was waiting for my order to come. I saw a very elderly couple come to gurunath. Never seen such people in gurunath before. The aunty sat in the chair next to me, and the guy had no place to sit. I was thinking "Dont even think about it! I am not going to get up". She was enjoying her food (I presume) and the guy was looking somewhere else. They werent even talking with each other. After sometime she got up to get some food they had ordered and the guy immediately came and sat down at her place. :) When the female came back, I thought it was too indecent and so, I got up and stood near the door of gurunath. She got the chair, but they still werent talking. Something was wrong, they werent happy. I was looking in the wrong direction probably.



I saw the guy making the juice, the radio was loud, and he was singing along. I couldnt hear him, but I could visibly see his lips moving with the music. Infact I could, correlate his lip movement with the lyrics. It was a romantic song, and he suddenly started singing aloud. He was enjoying the music a lot, as I see it. Then I looked at another guy working at gurunath, remove a few coins from his pocket and carefully put it in the inner pocket of his purse. For a moment, I realized I was looking at things in detail. I saw him close the purse and put it in his right pant pocket on the back. He saw me, I quickly turned towards the entrance. Remember I hadnt opened my mouth after I ordered my food and I decided to play it that way. Jk, came to me, saw me standing next to the door and asked what I was waiting for. I showed him the token. He looked at me for a second, and then I said "noodles". He walked off and joined the fartting group.



I continued to look at the ppl who cook. One guy came and said something, they all started talking to him, teasing him and stuff. They were laughing and giggling. They were happy, and I was happy to find them that way. Now comes the so called "pain god" of the institue, OS. He came to me, looked at me and was quiet. He didnt utter a word. I was about to ask "Hey! Are you playing the same game?", but I didnt. He offered me some haldiram's stuff which I readily accepted. Silence broke in a minute and he was talking to me. I dont remember the exact words, but I was really happy talking to him. He was being so nice to me. He probably was, always and I wasnt seeing the good side of it. I saw an old fellow coming all the way to gurunath and having a coffee. I bet he enjoys it. I saw the gardener watering the lawn. I saw him play with the water pipe. They were all happy.



All these things were happening right next to me, I never looked at them all the while. I was really enjoying the game. I was being a good listener. I was so happy seeing others enjoying their life. I met PK after that and sat with him. I was feeling very light and happy within. He was so fussed up about the weather. I asked him "Have you seen american beauty? Did you like the movie?". He said "Yes da. Sood movie". I replied "There is beauty in everything. You just dont happen to see them.". PK shouted "Seruppaala adippaen. Veyyilla ukkaandhu idhuvum paesuva innumum paesuva" for the rest who dont understand tam, he was just blasting me. I realized happiness is in the way you look at things and I am not gonna miss a bit of it. No more "bored" status messages or orkut names. As "satya aka babe" would put it "I choose to be happy".



PS: This blog is too heavy for a first timer, and its probably very badly written... no KT, SSM .. plz